Four teenage catholic girls die simultaneously in a car crash and arrive at the pearly gates.

St. Peter asks girl 1: "Have you ever touched a penis?"

"Yes, father," girl one replies, "I once touched a man's penis with the very tip of my finger."

"Swish that offending finger in holy water," St. Peter instructed, "say a prayer begging forgiveness, and cross over into the promised land."

Girl 2 says: "Yes, father, I once touched a man's penis with my whole hand."

St. Peter instructed this second offending girl to douse her entire hand in holy water, say two prayers begging mercy, and proceed to heaven.

As girl 3 approached, girl 4 shoved her aside, "Father," she shouted, "if you expect me to gargle with that crap AFTER she dunks her ass in there, you've got another think coming!"