Aquarius>Jan.20-Feb.19<You have an inventive
mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal.
On the other hand, you are inclined to be careless and impratical,
causing you to make the same mistakes repeatedly. Everyone thinks
you are stupid!
Pisces>Feb.20-Mar.20<You have a vivid imagination
and often think you are being followed by the CIA or FBI. You
have much influence over your associates and people resent you
for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are generally
a coward. Pisces people screw small animals.
Aries>Mar.21-Apr.19<You are the pioneer type
and hold most people in contempt. You are quick tempered, impatient,
and scornful of advice. You are a prick.
Taurus>Apr.20-May 20<You are practical and persistent.
You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people
think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamn
communist!
Gemini>May 21-June 20<You are a quick and intelligent
thinker. People like you because you are bi-sexual. However, you
are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you
are cheap. Gemini's are notorious for thriving on incest!
Cancer>June 21-July 22<You are sympathetic and
understanding to other peoples problems. They think you are a
sucker. You are allways putting things off. That's why you'll
always be on welfare and never be worth a shit!
Leo>July 23-Aug. 22<You consider yourself a born
leader. Others think you are pushy. Most Leo's are bullies. You
are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance
is disgusting. Leo people are thriving bastards!
Virgo>Aug. 23-Sept. 22<You are the logical type
and hate disorder. This nitpicking is disgusting to your friends.
You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while making
love. Virgo's make good bus drivers or pimps!
Libra>Sept. 23-Oct. 23<You are the artistic type
and have a difficult time with reality. If you are a man, you
are more than likely a queer. Chances for employment and monetary
gains are excellent. Most Libra women make excellent whores. All
Libra's die of venereal disease.
Scorpio>Oct. 24-Nov. 22<You are shrewd in business
and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success
because of your total lack of ethics. You are a plum perfect son-of-a-bitch.
Most Scorpio's are murdered!
Sagittarius>Nov. 23-Dec. 21<You are optimistic
and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck
since you lack talent. The majority of Sagittarien's are drunks
and dope fiends. People laugh at you a great deal because you
are always getting fucked!
Capricorn>Dec. 22-Jan. 19<You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You don't do much of anything and tend to be lazy. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. Capricorn's should avoid standing still for a long period of time as they tend to attract the fucking pigeons who delight in decorating statues with their droppings!