State slogans as they really should be:

Alabama:

Yes, We Have Electricity

Alaska:

11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

Arizona:

But It's a Dry Heat

Arkansas:

Litterasy Ain't Everthing

California:

By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda

Colorado:

If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

Connecticut:

Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet

Delaware:

We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water

Florida:

Ask Us About Our Grandkids

Georgia:

We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism

Hawaii:

Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru

(Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

Idaho:

More Than Just Potatoes...

Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois:

Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana:

2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa:

We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas:

First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky:

Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana:

We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign

Maine:

We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland:

If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts:

Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)

Michigan:

First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

Minnesota:

10,000 Lakes And 10,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

Mississippi:

Come Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri:

Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

Montana:

Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber,

Right-Wing Crazies, & Very Little Else

Nebraska:

Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada:

Whores and Poker!

New Hampshire:

Spend Your Money, Then Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Jersey:

You Want A #$%#! Motto? I Got Yer #$%#! Motto Right Here!

New Mexico:

Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York:

You Have The Right To Remain Silent,

You Have The Right To An Attorney...

North Carolina:

Tobacco Is A Vegetable

North Dakota:

We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

Ohio:

At Least We're Not Michigan

Oklahoma:

Like The Play, Only No Singing

Oregon:

Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania:

Cook With Coal

Rhode Island:

We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina:

Remember The Civil War? Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender

South Dakota:

Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee:

The Educashun State

Texas:

Si, Hablo Ingles (Yes, I Speak English)

Utah:

Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont:

Ayuh

Virginia:

Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington:

Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!

Washington, D.C.:

Wanna Be Mayor?

West Virginia:

One Big Happy Family...Really!

Wisconsin:

Come Cut The Cheese

Wyoming:

Where Men Are Men...And The Sheep Are Scared